'Special Needs as a Second Language'

Not exactly legal (although sadly there hasn't been much of that around here lately anyway) but I thought this was too good not to share.

Check out "Special Needs as a Second Language by Lori Miller Fox" where she shares with the rest of the world a glossary of special needs terms and their definitions.

Here's just a sampling:

• Go check on him, he’s too quiet – means go in and make sure he’s still breathing.
• We’re deciding where to go on vacation – means we’re researching the cities that have the best children’s hospitals.
• You’ve really grown, we need to get you something new to wear – means we need to make a trip to the orthotist.
• I’m good thanks – means I got more than three hours of sleep last night.
• I’m an animal lover – means I can no longer stand the sight of people.
• Yes, we are looking forward to graduation – means I’m going to be at home with my grown child and eat pizza every day for the rest of my life until one day they’ll find me buried under a mountain of stale pepperoni and greasy, tomato-stained cardboard boxes.
  He had a good day – means he stayed awake in school and didn’t hit anybody.

Now go check out the rest.

By the way, my two personal favourites:

• I have a school meeting – means don’t call me, or email me, or ring my bell for at least three days while I climb into my very deep hole and comfort myself with chocolate.


• You must be a new Medical Resident – means his name’s not Buddy, and I’m not your Mom and he’s not your Dad ***hole.

Update: The promised Legal Gaurdianship Kit nears completion. Just looking at polishing it up and filing for copyright. And then it will be all yours.